languid

i must write this down quickly because i dont think i can fight against the pain for very long. im sorry for my lack of capital letters and whatnot but i cant stand being on the computer for long

each time i press down a key it hurts. my eyes can barely take the light coming from the screen. there is a little bit of sun coming in through the window despite the fold and the currtains and it burns my skin

i went to sleep late last night im off work today but i had been feeling bad for an hour or so before going to bed... like i was coming down with a cold or something but i dont know i dont think its a cold it cant be
i fell asleep quickly enough as if my body and mind couldnt wait to be thrown into unconchessness

it was like a fever dream minus the fever. it was so dark and filled with things so abstract i cant give them any proper names and oh my finger hurts ah maybe they will have to cut it off, amputate, but but im sorry. all i know is that it was dark and menacing. that i know for sure. then then something emerged from the darkness

pale and white and somewhat like the light at the end of the tunnel

only it wasnt light but a white face and long, thin arms with hands of the same hue as the face and when he stretched them out after me i approached without feeling any fear without feeling anything until i had him embrace me and i tried to embrace him but

but it doesnt work

it didnt work

i had been ushered into his arms by some invisible dream force but it was not meant to be. a human cannot simply touch that it is not possible

every pore in my body seemed to open only to get needles inserted in them. like like needles into my every pore. all over my body. inwards and outwards tongue eyes lips forehead hands nails arms feet back lungs ears brain legs everywhere

im not scared