Fisk

fhuirjjjkdesfdllfbhdgjjjjkakakakakakakakakakakakakaisglaaaaaaaabjkdsfbfjkndaguireeeeeeeeeeeeelagfdösklngfdsglåasdddddddlögäasöginfernobhjbdshajsabhjdddddddddawedgjhfghdsjhfdsujkhfadsasöäåädplsöadbjhasöasddsaölädölöäasökassjndphantasmagoricwnfjkdsfnjdskfdsjkasaufuhdgnfjhdgmbvcbncvkdsjfhfjhdsksaebuksklnfgdgfkfgdjkfgdd4584tuierngjfkdes+34uhe'dsgåfp'ggkmnfdesi8orwhndsjkfdsf sjkldf bkfdg sduihfbjeiwry78reuifrhyue73wisurshurdeswwuhijhrds55555555jntr5ssjknfdjbmvncbsdemisersjkdnsfjkndsioreute89oalamsklskmaasndjkldklasjklskljdskljsdkjdkjsdkjdskalfnjdskffkds?dmklasmdklasdmkL!"¤#)OikfrsdmkflKMDFLHEEEEEEEEEEEJNFJKDSLFDSFFNJDSIKFLHEuitgbuithsfjknutrenjksurreptitiousruityrekdjksadnsadjsaduiwsaldsldslfdgkfjkgdsjkdsjkdshfdsjkesiot8eTURMOILbsadhjsareise8e8reukfdsjkfdsjkfdsjkfdsklaslöasdjksasjkdbjkasfbdjkhsfjkhdsfbjhdsfbhjdsbfhjdsbfjhdsbfhjdsbfjkbdsjhfbdsfbhjdsfbjhsdfbheibytrsdhjfbeysurbhfeshyufjebfdshfbdshjfbdsfyujhesbfydsjukfbaöwpoaöoplaaawlepasäåplå''¨^*^*lödsadäölsadlösaäasjmsikfnnOSTENSIBLEdnsajikdwuarnkjnesddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfghbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbdxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhxjhbesynnerligweioooooooooooookjaaaaaaaKUFISKHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHDSAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHDSHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHFDAHADSHAHAHAAH

Fire

I just came home from work a little while ago. My dad called, saying my mother's dead. I got to go home early, I think my colleagues were shocked, probably told me how sorry they were but I didn't hear them.

Dad sounded so shaken up, never heard him like that before. Says that she was burned to a crisp in the office, the only thing remaining was her engagement ring and a pair of showy earrings – I always told her how ridiculous they looked – and no damage to the chair she was sitting in, no damage to anything could be seen.

I didn't want this to happen I swear to god...

The Past

18 June
Pain.

19 June
Crawling insects on the walls, sounds outside, screams. The wind occasionally blowing violently.
The pain subsiding.

20 June
Same.

21 June
Same.

22 June
The pain almost completely gone. Sometimes she gets what can best be described as "convulsions". Her body starts trembling without control for a while before it stops. No one has contacted her in these last few days, perhaps everyone is gone? Has the world changed?
Doesn't dare to look outside. Food is scarce.

23 June
So lonely. Looked outside; it's normal. Sunny, beautiful, with birds singing. If the birds sing it is all right. Still their presence bring her little consolation.
Pasta today.

24 June
Do not want to eat pasta anymore, but too tired to go out of the house. Too tired to get to civilisation.
Calls dad, tells him it's that time of the month. Of course he'll get her some supplies. Of course.
She doesn't want pasta. Of course she doesn't. He can make some good meat balls. Of course you can, daddy. Yes I remember when you did it a lot when I was a kid. Yes I know it was my favourite then. No, I don't know why I changed my taste.
Meat balls with potatoes is fine.
They eat, talk. Dad says she looks tired; yes, she knows. Has she taken a pain killer? Yes, she has.
Okay. Good bye.

25 June
Found the notebook in an unopened box from the move. As good as new, but with a new picture in it.

Who drew it?
Had leftovers.

26 June
Wondering if she should contact Andreas. Why hasn't he written anything?

27 June
Andreas replied saying he has been very ill for a while, says he's sorry for not informing her about it earlier. It's okay. Will there be a club meeting soon? No, most about everyone is on vacation. Brilliant. But they could do something together, just the two of them.
Yes, that'd be nice.

28 June
Hate making dinner.

29 June
Mother called randomly. It was nice in the beginning, but then some detail was brought up and everything went to hell.
They're not always going to be there to pay for things. Mummy and daddy can't help when they're dead. Does she plan on working in the library for the rest of her life? Can't get much money doing that! It doesn't matter if you like your profession, you've got to have money.

30 June
Angry and upset, but doesn't feel alone.

1 July
Met with Andreas today. Somehow looked shaggier than last time they met, nevertheless they walked through the woods looking and listening to the birds. Alice had told him about the library earlier, so he asked if she still enjoyed working there. Yes she did. Went to work every day - except for the two days when she had been in pain, oh, she hoped that wouldn't make them want to fire her. Andreas didn't think so. He would like to come visit her in the library.

2 July
Thought she saw something moving in the darkness. It's easier to sleep with company.

3 July
Hallucinations all night long.
Why.

4 July
The birds aren't singing.

5 July
A putrid smell in the house... smells like smoke. Again. But there is nothing.
Found a new picture.

Sideways

Yonder

languid

i must write this down quickly because i dont think i can fight against the pain for very long. im sorry for my lack of capital letters and whatnot but i cant stand being on the computer for long

each time i press down a key it hurts. my eyes can barely take the light coming from the screen. there is a little bit of sun coming in through the window despite the fold and the currtains and it burns my skin

i went to sleep late last night im off work today but i had been feeling bad for an hour or so before going to bed... like i was coming down with a cold or something but i dont know i dont think its a cold it cant be
i fell asleep quickly enough as if my body and mind couldnt wait to be thrown into unconchessness

it was like a fever dream minus the fever. it was so dark and filled with things so abstract i cant give them any proper names and oh my finger hurts ah maybe they will have to cut it off, amputate, but but im sorry. all i know is that it was dark and menacing. that i know for sure. then then something emerged from the darkness

pale and white and somewhat like the light at the end of the tunnel

only it wasnt light but a white face and long, thin arms with hands of the same hue as the face and when he stretched them out after me i approached without feeling any fear without feeling anything until i had him embrace me and i tried to embrace him but

but it doesnt work

it didnt work

i had been ushered into his arms by some invisible dream force but it was not meant to be. a human cannot simply touch that it is not possible

every pore in my body seemed to open only to get needles inserted in them. like like needles into my every pore. all over my body. inwards and outwards tongue eyes lips forehead hands nails arms feet back lungs ears brain legs everywhere

im not scared

Mary's Lamb

Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow;

And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule;

It made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.

And so the teacher turned it out, but still it lingered near,

And waited patiently about till Mary did appear.

"Why does the lamb love Mary so?" the eager children cry;

"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know" the teacher did reply.

It was nice being invited for tea on such a lovely day as this. Alice had missed going out to watch and photograph birds together with the club, even though she still visited Andreas from time to time when the weather was less than favourable. People talked just as much as they used to, Alice saying a few words here and there, smiling and laughing along without letting them know what was going on. She looked down at the cute little teacup, listening intently to what it said and finding its words far more interesting compared to those of the people around her; perhaps it was only because it was so very much more interesting to listen to a teacup rather to a human. It was not every day one got to listen to a teacup's point of view, you know. Though, it only had one ear, so how much could it really have to talk about?

A lot, Alice found out. Its name was Lisa. How curious, she had never thought that Lisa was a particularly good name for a teacup... then again, she had never really considered what names would be good for things such as teacups at all! Sadly, she could not speak to the poor thing, since it would be viewed as strange behaviour. No matter. Alice could easily distract herself long enough in the presence of others. Besides, they weren't very clever. Perhaps Andreas would be able to figure out that something was wrong, as he had shown concern for Alice just a few minutes before but she had said she was fine. And he believed her. For why shouldn't he?

Look Inside