Pain.
19 June
Crawling insects on the walls, sounds outside, screams. The wind occasionally blowing violently.
The pain subsiding.
20 June
Same.
21 June
Same.
22 June
The pain almost completely gone. Sometimes she gets what can best be described as "convulsions". Her body starts trembling without control for a while before it stops. No one has contacted her in these last few days, perhaps everyone is gone? Has the world changed?
Doesn't dare to look outside. Food is scarce.
23 June
So lonely. Looked outside; it's normal. Sunny, beautiful, with birds singing. If the birds sing it is all right. Still their presence bring her little consolation.
Pasta today.
24 June
Do not want to eat pasta anymore, but too tired to go out of the house. Too tired to get to civilisation.
Calls dad, tells him it's that time of the month. Of course he'll get her some supplies. Of course.
She doesn't want pasta. Of course she doesn't. He can make some good meat balls. Of course you can, daddy. Yes I remember when you did it a lot when I was a kid. Yes I know it was my favourite then. No, I don't know why I changed my taste.
Meat balls with potatoes is fine.
They eat, talk. Dad says she looks tired; yes, she knows. Has she taken a pain killer? Yes, she has.
Okay. Good bye.
25 June
Found the notebook in an unopened box from the move. As good as new, but with a new picture in it.
Who drew it?
Had leftovers.
26 June
Wondering if she should contact Andreas. Why hasn't he written anything?
27 June
Andreas replied saying he has been very ill for a while, says he's sorry for not informing her about it earlier. It's okay. Will there be a club meeting soon? No, most about everyone is on vacation. Brilliant. But they could do something together, just the two of them.
Yes, that'd be nice.
28 June
Hate making dinner.
29 June
Mother called randomly. It was nice in the beginning, but then some detail was brought up and everything went to hell.
They're not always going to be there to pay for things. Mummy and daddy can't help when they're dead. Does she plan on working in the library for the rest of her life? Can't get much money doing that! It doesn't matter if you like your profession, you've got to have money.
30 June
Angry and upset, but doesn't feel alone.
1 July
Met with Andreas today. Somehow looked shaggier than last time they met, nevertheless they walked through the woods looking and listening to the birds. Alice had told him about the library earlier, so he asked if she still enjoyed working there. Yes she did. Went to work every day - except for the two days when she had been in pain, oh, she hoped that wouldn't make them want to fire her. Andreas didn't think so. He would like to come visit her in the library.
2 July
Thought she saw something moving in the darkness. It's easier to sleep with company.
3 July
Hallucinations all night long.
Why.
4 July
The birds aren't singing.
5 July
A putrid smell in the house... smells like smoke. Again. But there is nothing.
Found a new picture.
I am glad you finally were able to give me some answers as to what you've been doing. It isn't much, but it is still a start.
ReplyDelete...As for that first picture, is that supposed to be Robbie and myself? I haven't told you much of anything about my private life, so I don't understand why such a thing would have to appear.
I'm sorry you had your horrible pains and the fight with your mother. However, I am glad you were able to meet with Andreas. It is good you have someone you trust and to talk to, if not me.
Your hallucinations are growing worse, but I still cannot find the reason. I don't see much worth in the second picture, except that it looks like a bunch of cracks.